Blog Post

THINK-IN THOUGHTS: KATE MARYON

  • By EmpathyLab
  • 31 Jan, 2017
I came along to EmpathyLab’s Think In at London’s Southbank with an open heart and mind. I had no idea of what to expect and was totally blown away by the vibrant enthusiasm I found. Well over one hundred professionals, from as many different backgrounds, coming together to freely share their expertise in exploring ways of using stories and words to improve empathy skills for our children.

In my capacity as a therapist (working with children and families for the past twenty years) and as a children’s author (working in schools for the past four), it’s clear that whatever the cause, a huge number of children now lack basic empathy skills. Both in my practice room and in the classroom, children find it difficult to articulate their feelings, have no clue as to how to resolve conflict, no idea how to bring basic kindness to themselves, let alone to others. It’s a fact that they are struggling. Self-harming of one sort or another is escalating; bullying is commonplace, gang culture in on the rise.

Don’t get me wrong – many children do possess great empathy skills, and these are the ones seen flourishing in the classroom, on the playing field, in the art room, in the orchestra. These are the ones whose imagination flies out of them during creative writing classes, knocking me sideways with their brilliance.

As part of their research and development programme, I wonder if EmpathyLab might consider talking to the children who are rich in empathy skills to see how theses skills have been learned? My guess is they’d find that a huge number of these children have a culture of story at the centre of their world.

The loveliest thing about EmpathyLab’s approach, using stories and words to promote empathy, is that it has the possibility of imbuing a generation of children with strong empathy skills, without expecting the children to do anything other than have fun with words and stories – and in a culture focused on academic achievement, this has to be a great thing. I agree that not all children like reading, for some it’s the hardest thing in the world – but show me a child who doesn’t love a story and I’ll willingly eat my hat!

In agreement with Sue Palmer, who spoke about her passion for enhancing empathy through stories and words, alongside the inspiring Roman Krznaric, I think a key feature of EmpathyLab’s work must be around teaching empathy as an embodied process. Experiencing feelings and emotions as sensations in the body, as opposed to viewing them from the mind, is the difference between knowing empathy as a concept and living it as a human. This difference is simply taught and crucial if we are truly to make an impact and raise happy healthy humans.

We may never know why so many of today’s children lack empathy, although many ideas were put forward at the Think In – helicopter parenting doesn’t promote resilience – too much screen time has a numbing effect – parents are too busy to promote empathy – over testing in schools has seen empathy and pastoral care in general take a back seat, etc etc. If we don’t intervene soon, and promote empathy skills early on in life, we will be responsible for creating a generation of unfeeling monsters, destined to be devoid of the richness and fullness a life lived with empathy can bring.

I truly believe that EmapthyLab can create a revolution, and feel touched and blessed to be a part it.

Kate Maryon is a writer and a therapist.

Find out more about EmpathyLab’s plans and join our network on LinkedIn – we’d love you to be part of the conversation.

Photo credit: Dan Chippendale
By EmpathyLab 29 Feb, 2024
Ofsted have recently said that inspectors need to have more empathy. Journalists have asked politicians where their empathy is when talking about refugees or homeless people. These adults were obviously not at school when EmpathyLab started Empathy Day. But what we hope for children today is that even if they’re not seeing empathy being modelled at home, they are exposed to books in school which promote the consideration of others. The publication of the annual Read for Empathy lists supports schools aiming to develop this crucial life skill.
The collection consists of 65 books for 3-16 year olds, each chosen for its unique contribution in building young people’s empathy.

The primary collection for 3-11 year has 40 books; the secondary collection features 25 books for 12-16 year olds.
By EmpathyLab 29 Feb, 2024

I am very fortunate to have been on the Read for Empathy booklist judging panel over the past few years.

I’m also a practising classroom teacher so I would like to consider how the books on the list can influence what happens in a school.

Firstly, along with many other schools, reading aloud is an important part of our school day, every day, almost without fail. All the teachers at my school are aware of the EmpathyLab booklist, and often use it as a basis for choosing their next class read. Knowing that the books touch on important aspects of our children’s lives is key; we all understand how important representation is in stories. These are books that make a difference, that lead to passionate discussions in the classroom and can actually influence children’s behaviour .

The booklists become increasingly valuable. We have a couple of hundred empathy texts at our school – they are there on merit. Staff often refer to previous lists if there as a particular aspect of empathy that they want to include or share with the children.

Our Year 6 Reading Champions often seek out picture books from the  list to take in to KS1 and Reception when they read stories, so we already have the next generation educating each other about the importance of empathy. I love the fact they often meet beforehand (they tend to work in twos) to discuss what questions they might want to ask the children once the story has been read. After each booklist is released, they also spend several of their Friday recommendation slots in assembly talking about a couple of the books. We have parents in on our Friday assembly so it’s a great way to share the texts with them and help raise their awareness of our work.

We often use the books as our teaching texts for English, partly because they encourage excellent writing but also because they provide a fantastic opportunity for our pupils to develop their empathy skills.  The Wild Robot by Peter Brown, Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo, Freedom by Catherine Johnson, Eyes that Kiss in the Corners by Joanna Ho and A Street Dog Named Pup by Gill Lewis are all books that have made in into our English curriculum as a result of being on one of the Read for Empathy booklists. Well, that’s not strictly true - Edward Tulane was there before that as it’s one of my favourite ever books, but you hopefully take my point.

Reflecting on our empathy journey over the past few years, I’ve also found that the more books children read that address empathy, where they can relate to the characters and their choices, the more books they want to read. It’s almost a virtuous circle. Many begin to realise that such books can  empower them to think about situations.

For example, as soon as we finished A Street Dog Named Pup last year, several of them immediately wanted to read other books by Gill Lewis. Because empathy is a thread that runs through much of her work ( Gorilla Dawn , Moon Bear , The Closest Thing to Flying and so on). Thanks to EmpathyLab's lists, I was able to point them in the direction of several other books, by her and others.

I think we agree that teaching children about empathy and providing them with opportunities to develop it is one of the most important gifts we can give them as adults. The fact that empathy has gone from being something that schools sort of understood a few years ago to being something that has got an increasingly solid evidence base is crucial.

There’s always been anecdotal evidence that reading stories is important for children and that it can change how they think but now that’s backed up with research. The empathy revolution (and it is a revolution) is only going to pick up more momentum over the next few years as the need for it becomes ever more apparent. Working in schools and in the world of children’s books means that we’re in the front line. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. 
By EmpathyLab 11 Apr, 2023
Teachers we work with say that children are finding it hard to communicate about their feelings, and have raised anxiety levels and emotional turbulence. We’re taking two steps to help.
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